Our dear Blair left on the red-eye to attend her youngest sister’s wedding. There were tears. If you follow our blog, you’ll know I’m happy to air my own family’s dirty laundry, but I don’t want to air Blair’s. Without sharing details, I’m going to toss out some advice to those of you planning for 2011:
We’ve said it before, and it’s a soap box we’ll continue to stand on:
Yes, it is your day.
Yes, you should feel beautiful and heavenly and blissful.
No, it doesn’t give you a license to cut deep wounds into the thin skins of your family and closest friends in the weeks, days and months leading up to your day. (Despite the popularity of WeTV’s Bridezillas, exacting wrath on your closest gal pals for not putting you first every day for 12 months is simply not OK.)
A few general tips to keep your closest relationships in tact during the time and moments leading up to your wedding day:
1. Pick a date early, and start spreading the word. Especially if friends and family need to travel (which entails budgeting for and purchasing plane tickets, planning vacation time, etc.), be considerate of everything else they may have planned that year that takes money and time. (You are planning to conserve all your vaca days for the wedding and honeymoon. Your friends and fam are not. And – shocking – they may want to take other vacations that year that will require them to strategically plan paid time off and the household budget.)
2. Once chosen, do not suddenly decide that your spring-of-next-year wedding is now taking place this fall. That is, unless circumstances arise like your active-duty military husband being dispatched to Afghanistan, or the stork making an sooner-than-planned visit. Changing dates on a whim is frustrating and can wreak havok on the folks trying their best to be there to support you.
3. Preserve relationships. You want your loved ones to still like you after your day. So be mindful of the decisions you make the treatment you dispense. (There was more than one moment during my brother’s ill-fated wedding when his bride shot me looks that could melt metal. Not exactly setting us up to be friends, let alone sisters…)
Be gracious. Be thankful. Treat your friends and family with a little TLC. It’ll spare the tears…