At a wedding on a Friday in late June, the mother-of-the-groom (MOG) screamed at Blair. I mean, screamed. At the top of her lungs. In the main hall, in front of other vendors and staff. As though the Bridezilla cameras were rolling in the background and it was all for ratings. Loud enough to stop all activity in a dramatic, awkward silence kind of way.
What led up to the verbal assault? This:
After asking nicely, sweetly and lovingly for the groomsmen and bridesmaids to please remove outside alcohol from the venue — requests that not only went un-heeded, but resulted in Blair catching all kinds of sass from said groomsmen and bridesmaids— as a last ditch effort, Blair had to approach the groom with a firmer request: The outside alcohol had to be removed, or the party faced a variety of consequences. (I know, I know, mean, bad us…unfortunately, due to state liquor laws, it’s something we have to enforce.)
Shortly after delivering that request to the groom, the MOG came out of the groom’s quarters ablaze, firing lots of “how dare you????” kind of language. For those of you who haven’t worked with her yet, Blair is nothing short of helpful, fun, and charismatic. So the assault was doubly stunning.
The scene ended with Blair quietly turning away, the MOG storming off, and the stunned catering staff secretly vowing not to approach the MOG the rest of the evening for fear of the wrath.
Several minutes later, the MOG approached Blair because she needed help setting up the computer for the slide show, which Blair happily did. The MOG all-the-while saying things like “You must think I’m crazy…You can just add this to your collection of stories you must have about mothers of the bride and groom!”
Um, yes we will, and yes we do.
But not just MOGs and MOBs…over the years we’ve incurred similar wrath from bridesmaids, dads, and friends of bridesmaids. And apparently we’re not the only ones. This post from Imthiaz Houseman on Rocky Mountain Bride caught my attention because she shares a similar tale of being verbally abused by a bride. Imthiaz’s story reminded me of an episode of Cake Boss where the bride destroys her cake while Buddy’s out of the room, then after Buddy re-makes a cake in record time, upon delivery she refuses to give him the time of day, and even goes so far as to sneer and make rude comments about him loud enough for the camera to hear.
So here’s the point of this post: We’re people, too…those of us lumped into the category of “vendors” and “staff.” We have feelings. We get that you’re stressed, and that this day is the culmination of months and months of planning. We’re here to do our best to help it go smoothly.
Being berated in the middle of it all, though, is not only disheartening and hurtful – it makes us not want to help you. OK, there, I said it out loud.
It would’ve been super easy for Blair to tell the Screaming MOG that she didn’t know how to hook up the computer or innocently state that didn’t know what was wrong with the presentation. As a testament to her customer service attitude — she didn’t. She continued to shine and be as helpful as she could.
But before you (or a member of your party) is tempted to go off half-cocked, beware the consequences. You could very well be sacrificing small moments that make your day that much more beautiful, all because you took your stress out on a photographer / bar tender / wait staff member / DJ / videographer.
So when you’re tempted, have another sip of champagne, take a deep breath, and remember the old adage “treat others as you yourself want to be treated.”