Though you may not like the answers…
Below are some questions posted on brides.com by what I assume are real, honest-to-goodness brides. I didn’t cheat by reading the answers posted. I thought it would be more fun to answer them myself. Without further adieu, here we go:
Question: Do I need to ask my fiance’s sisters to be bridesmaids? Should he invite my brothers to be groomsmen?
My Answer: It depends. Do you intend to ever have a positive, trusting, loving relationship with your new sisters? If you don’t give a darn about their feelings (or the feelings of your brothers), then by all means, be picky. But if you invite one set of sibs, and don’t invite the other, plan on dealing with a sting that lingers for years. (Anyone following this blog will know this one in particular is a sore subject for me…)
Question: I want my bridesmaids to look as uniform as possible, including the type of makeup they wear, and they’re giving me brief about it. Am I being unreasonable?
My Answer: Yes. Yes you are.
Question: What’s a better groomsman’s gift – cuff links (my choice) or a bottle of tequila (my fiance’s pick)? I think giving booze is juvenile.
My Answer: (First you have to picture me chuckling to myself at the image of a bunch of guys who, even if they’re in their 50s, still want to think and act as if they’re 20 again, standing with cuff links in the palms of their hands, musing about when they’re ever going to wear them since they all work in “business casual” offices or are part of a union and classify their wardrobe as “good Carhartts” and “dress Carhartts”, followed by some good-natured chiding of the groom about what the h-e-double hockey sticks he was thinking.) Um, it may be “juvenile,” but I’m going to vote with your man on this one, deary. Even if they don’t like tequila, they’ll like it more than cuff links.
Question: Can I ask a groomsman to remove his facial piercings during the ceremony?
Question: Can I ask my bridesmaids to cover their tattoos?
Question: Can I ask my bridesmaids to alter their appearance?
My Answer: No. No. And, no. Y’all are either suffering from some serious insecurities to feel that a tattoo or piercing here or there is going to be a distraction from you, on your day, at your utmost perfection. Either that or Bridezillas has convinced you that it’s OK to be demanding, rude and childish. Just focus on yourself, ladies. And accept your groomsmen and maids for the cherished friends and family they are.
Question: I don’t think I can afford to be my friend’s bridesmaid, but she’ll be so hurt if I say no. What do I do?
My Answer: Have a heart-to-heart conversation with her. Being a bridesmaid is expensive, as are weddings, but perhaps there are ways the two of you can come up with to shave and share costs.
Question: My bridesmaid lost her job. What should I do?
My Answer: Have a heart-to-heart conversation with her. Being a bridesmaid is expensive, as are weddings, but perhaps there are ways the two of you can come up with to shave and share costs. (No, that’s not a copy/paste mistake…I repeated the response on purpose because honesty is always the best policy. The lack-of is generally what leads to assumptions and hurt feelings, particularly in these situations.)
This was actually quite a bit of fun. Perhaps you’ll be seeing future posts in this format…Til then, dear brides.